Monthly Archives: March 2011

Ch24 Saving the World with Hello

When you walk out the door and feel confident enough to raise your eyes and notice your surroundings, you have a special power.

At my father’s funeral, I was impressed by story after story of people who described how my dad was kind to them. The two stories I remember best are these:

A childhood friend said, “I always loved your dad. Whenever I saw him, he would make me feel special. His face would light up and he would act pleasantly surprised to see us!” Those encounters typically lasted just a few seconds, as we raced in the house or up the stairs.

An elderly neighbor said that she often saw Dad as he walked down her street, on his way to work. Many mornings, she would be out in front of her house with her dog, as he passed. She said, he would always tip his hat and say, “Good morning, Mrs. Jones!” Sometimes he would stop to pet the dog. She said that many days, that was the only human interaction she had, as she lived alone with only her dog for company

I later told my friend, a Buddhist nun, about my dad. I finished my description of him, then added, “He never did anything big. Like, he didn’t save the world, but he was kind to people. And people noticed. It made a big impression.”

The next day, my friend corrected me. “You are wrong. Your dad did save the world. He saved many worlds. Each person whose life he brightened, he saved their world.”

That’s it. He understood the power of that and he did it.

That makes sense to me now. He was a superhero to me.

So, if you want to save the world, make sure you feel good enough yourself, so that you can give cheer to others. You save the world by choosing to be beautiful and compassionate to those you encounter, with even a simple hello.

Namaste

I love the greeting of India, “Namaste,” with hands folded in front in prayer position.

I have heard many interpretations of the meaning. One simple meaning is, “The divine in me recognizes the divine in you.”

The hand movement is also profound. Bringing together the left hand (representing the past) and the right hand (representing the future), together in front of the body, one person is recognizing another.

Together the words and movement are a deep way to hold the person in front of us in awe and gratitude for a brief, but important moment …now!


Exercises

  • Tomorrow, as you move through your day, notice the greetings you receive. What is the best greeting you received? Was it expected or unexpected?
  • The following day, before you leave your home, make sure you are feeling calm and centered. Then with each person you encounter, try to make your greeting as sincere as possible. In that moment, how does it feel?
  • Hold the door. When you walk through a door, make it a point to hold the door for the person behind you. It won’t slow you down but a few seconds, and you and the other person may love it!
  • When you greet your loved ones, take a couple seconds to make your greetings warmer and less rushed. Hold onto the hug for a second longer. Look into the person’s eyes, smile and appreciate the miracle of the being in front of you.

Every greeting is a chance to recognize the miracle of the two of us being alive, in the same place, at the same time!

 

Ch03 Where to Look

What if you needed a completely new wardrobe? How much money would you need? Where would you go shopping? How much time would it take?

 

You could spend a lot of time and effort on this project, and still not be satisfied with the results.

 

What if, instead, you found that deep in the back of your closet was a magical door, that always had the perfect wardrobe. No matter what the weather was, or what the situation. No matter who you were meeting or what you were doing. Jacket, shoes, swimming suit, boots. Anything you could imagine. In every situation, you would be covered. The perfect outfit would be clean, pressed and ready for you to don.

There is a catch though. This perfect outfit is behind a door. The door is unlocked, but it might be inaccessible. As you go through your day, stuff gradually piles up in front of the door.

 

Our journey to experience Inner Peace is a similar challenge. You don’t have to go anywhere, get anything or achieve any outer goals to reach this state.

 

But you do have to be brave enough to go inward. And if you are having any trouble reaching that peaceful, joyful state, you don’t need to run around looking for things, doing things.

 

When you run around you feel like you are really doing something. Really making progress. Accomplishing something. So, it’s tempting to just keep running. It takes some discipline to stop.

 

But, once you stop running around, it simplifies everything. Just, pause, turn and focus inward.

 

So, you need to figure out how to remove the blockages. You can pick up one item at a time and gingerly examine it. Or you can sweep away the whole mess. Maybe there are a few stubborn, heavy pieces that don’t seem to budge. You’ll need a hand to move these out of your way.

Like any cleaning or maintenance project, little by little, you’ll figure out some systems and tools. You’ll find the help and tips you need that gradually make it easier.

 

A regular cleaning process will keep the task manageable, and give you a quick, reliable path to open that door.

 

Being mindful of the garbage that needs to be thrown out and the items that need to be returned or repaired, you’ll come up with some new habits. You’ll develop a daily routine that keeps you easily connected to that place of ease and perfection, that’s been waiting for you all along.

 

Exercises

  • Think of the last major cleaning project you did. Write down what it was and jot down your answers to the questions:
  • How long did things pile up before you cleaned up? How long did it actually take to do it? How did you feel once it was done? Did you find things you’d forgotten about?
  • Make a list of areas of life where you have regular cleaning or maintenance schedules. Consider your house, clothes, exercise, meals, finances, relationships. How have these habits developed? What was life like before you developed these routines?
  • Do you have routines to maintain how you feel?

 

 

 

It takes a conscious effort to stop running.

To  pause and look inward.

To learn that everything you need, you already have.

 

 

Documents…it’s always something

You can plan on unpredicted things happening when you’re applying for a work visa. Does that make sense?

I’d requested a background check months ago, so was excited when I received the paper from the FBI. But you know what? It didn’t have the signature and seal needed for an apostille. So, I had to send it back to the FBI. Then send it to the U.S. State Department.

I also needed apostilled versions of my diploma and my marriage certificate, but I could do these by simply walking into the Colorado State Department.

But they arrived in time, so I could ship them to the school in Korea. The employer has to apply for my E2 work visa. Today, I heard the documents arrived in Korea. Yay!

Ch02 Inner Peace is Outwardly Obvious

Imagine a variety of scenes playing out:

  • You’re sitting in a classroom. The teacher walks through the door.
  • A teenager comes out of her room and walks into the living room.
  • Your partner walks in and sets down his keys.
  • Your boss walks into your office.
  • You wave to your friend who you’re meeting for lunch.
  • You approach a sales clerk in a department store.

 

In any of these scenarios, what do you notice first: their clothes, their perfume or something else?

 

Read through the list of scenarios above again and ask yourself, what do you pay attention to?

 

When you begin an encounter, the first thing you usually try to assess is how the interaction will go. What most determines that is the mood of the person you’re talking to.  Well, that, and your own mood.

 

If the teacher is tired and wants to be elsewhere, the students know. Pretty much instantly.

 

The tone of someone’s voice. The wrinkle of his brow. The expression on her face. The way she opens the door. The way he sets down his keys. The way she turns to  answer your question.

 

You can’t be sure, but you usually have a pretty good idea of how someone is doing, how they are feeling. You know if they are tired, frustrated, sad, or overwhelmed.

 

Aha, so my state of Inner Peace (or lack of it) is instantly obvious to everyone around me.

 

So, just because it’s called Inner Peace it doesn’t mean that your current state is hidden from others. You walk around thinking that you mask what you deeply feel, that you are a Mystery! No, a better term would be that each of us walks around like an Open Book.

 

When you first realize this, you may feel a little uneasy. You may feel exposed, like you’re walking around naked. Good! That will help you remain vigilant. It will make it harder for you to ignore this wonderfully important inner guidance system.

 

Exercises

  • Tomorrow, as you meet your family, friends, coworkers or strangers, gaze into each person’s eyes.
  • Do you sense contentment and peace? Or do you sense turmoil, frustration and self-doubt? Is it easy or difficult to sense a person’s level of inner peace?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your state of Inner Peace is no mystery. It’s instantly obvious to everyone you meet.

 

 

 

Ch01 Why Inner Peace?

What do you want out of life?

  • Power
  • Success
  • The perfect mate
  • A happy family
  • Love
  • Career
  • Money
  • Health
  • Beauty
  • Friends
  • Adventure

 

But why? Why is it important? What is the deeper significance?

 

The underlying reason is a combination of universal motives. Everyone wants:

•           To be happy;

•           To be loved and loving;

•           To feel good about yourself; and

•           To be a positive influence on the people around you.

 

Maybe you choose different words, or a different angle, but basically, these motives are our shared humanity.

 

When you are lying on your death bed, you will measure your life by these parameters.

 

But, when you keep your attention on all the factors that can change, you become disoriented and overwhelmed. You are flung up and down, as the details of your life change. Why is all of this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Or, this makes me happy, so I’m afraid that if I lose it, I’ll be miserable.

 

As you navigate the storms and waves of life, you are tossed and thrown about. Just when you think you can bear no more, the sun comes out! Then a difficult person comes into your life. Then unexpected money flows in. A gentle person arrives. Your spouse loses a job. Someone dies. A new baby is born.

So, how can one succeed on the deeper levels of life, when external factors are continually changing and generating stressful situations?

 

The answer is surprisingly simple.

 

It involves a subtle, but deliberate shift of focus.

 

Loosen your grip on your attachment to all the drama swirling around outside of you. Turn inward. Tune in to your current state of inner peace. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to monitor and work to maintain inner peace. Every moment. Every day. Always.

 

This simple step will transform your life for the better. And this book will guide you.

 

Breathe in a deep fulfilling taste of life. Breathe out, and smile. Here we go!

 

Exercises

  • Imagine yourself lying on your deathbed. Review your life. What makes you cringe and what makes you smile?
  • Make a “Successful Life List”. Number it 1 to 15, and write how you would define a successful life for yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A slight, deliberate shift in focus can change your entire life for the better.

 

 

Teaching English in Denver

I lucked out! I was first asked to substitute but then got to teach full time from March through mid-May, while waiting to go to Korea.

My students are awesome! They are adults that hail from Saudi Arabia, South Korea, Japan, Brazil, Thailand, Japan, Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia and more!

What it lacks in prepared materials is made up for in an environment that encourages creativity.  There are general guidelines of what the students need to learn, but teachers are allowed to teach using whatever materials or concepts they like.

It’s a bit overwhelming to plan but pretty fun!