Category Archives: Saudi Arabia

Poem: Lanterns Sway …a Haiku

2013-05-04 14.15.01 Buddha Lanterns poem art

 

Pink, yellow and blue

Lanterns sway, ajummas pray,

Make my dreams come true!

–

* ajumma = elderly lady in Korea

–

About the poem:

Touring a Buddhist temple in Seoul today, the grounds are decked out with paper lanterns. Each has a blue prayer note attached, with a handwritten request for good health for the family, a successful resolution of a problem, or making a dream come true. As it gets closer to Buddha’s Birthday (May 17 this year), more and more lanterns will be added.

In one building at the temple, a Buddhist monk leads the prayers. Dozens of women (ajummas) sit, kneel and bow at various times. Other  than the monk, the men were  ’eopsseoyo’ …not there!

In contrast, I was recently in Saudi Arabia, where only the men are allowed to pray together (at the mosque) and women usually pray at home.

–

About the author:

Joan Gregerson writes books and blogs about how to enjoy life. She has managed to visit 22 countries and reflects on what is important. The answer is love. Yep, that’s it.

 

The right to exercise

As I finished class on Friday here in Korea, I asked my fifth-grade student what she would be doing this weekend. She answered, “Studying!”

“Oh,” I said, “well, make sure you get plenty of rest and get some exercise!”

“I can’t. I have to study.”

Another friend who has completed high school, told me that her parents don’t want her to enroll in dance or exercise classes, …just study! While it’s true that most kids in Korea get very little exercise, boys do tend to play soccer at lunch time at least.

But, it’s not only Korea that restricts physical exercise. When I was in Saudi Arabia, most girls told me that they don’t walk and they don’t exercise. There, it’s not about time, but instead it is about what is considered proper for women and girls to do.

I grew up spending time outdoors, playing in the neighborhood, on the neighborhood swim team, and later on high school gymnastics and soccer teams. Playing sports and being physically fit has been a rewarding part of my life.

Of course, this isn’t only in some cultures. In general, more and more jobs require us to sit for long periods of time.

Let’s acknowledge the basic fact that human bodies were designed to move.

Our bodies are not simply vehicles for our brains. We can’t expect our brains to be flexible, quick and strong, while not granting our bodies the same qualities.

I am standing up for the human right to move. Everyone, but especially girls and women, deserves the basic right to dance and exercise.

Love Your Students

Change your lesson plan. Renumber your objectives for the day and make number one: Love your students.

I’ve taught English to students in the US, Korea and Saudi Arabia. One thing’s for sure. You can’t always teach your students what you want to teach them. Or what you think you’re supposed to teach them.

You can try. You can do your best, but things go awry in our own plans. We lose papers or experience technical difficulties. Or a student is simply not able to or motivated to learn at that moment.

But, in those moments, you can still love your students. You can unconditionally love your students.

Even if they just failed the quiz, or just disrupted class. Even if you’re writing up the “Step 3″ discipline form or you have no idea to connect to a student. Even if she thinks you don’t like her or he won’t return your smile, you can unconditionally love those students. Even if you lost your cool with him previously (actually, especially if you did), you can unconditionally love him.

As teachers, we must try. Always.

Of course, we’re human. We can’t always pull this off. Some days, or some moments, we’ll fail miserably. (I have documented my failings in earlier posts!)

But we must try.

A fellow teacher was telling me how bad her class was.

“What should I do?”, she asked.

“Love them”, I replied.

“Ohhhhh no, not these students”, she said. “You don’t understand. Especially the worst ones. No. But really, what should I do?”

“Really, love them.”

“I can’t,” she said. Ohhhhhhhh no, I thought.

“You must,” I said.

“I wish I could!” she said, as she walked away. But unconditionally loving our students is a choice. So, we can.

Teachers are taught to be very objective-focused. If our objective is to ensure that each students knows we unconditionally love them, we can make that happen. Certainly everything you say or do is important, but sometimes this connection can be established or kept alive with only a few seconds per student per class.

Why is it important to love them?

Well, when we think about it, what is the point of being a student? Students are there to learn. Why? Because they want to make life somehow better.

When we unconditionally love our students, even for a second, we transport them and ourselves to that endpoint instantly.

We make life somehow better, complete and wonderful for our students and ourselves, in that moment.

And if there are still problems with the class, we at least know that we can make whatever changes are necessary (in the classroom or in our lives), from a state of groundedness …and love.

Fast forward to “better life now” by committing to love your students.

Home of the Free

Walking around on the streets of Denver, I’m in awe of our freedoms.

I just got back from two months in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Wow, look at that lady walking alone, head uncovered, no abaya, walking a dog!!! A big dog!

And over there, people sitting outside. Women sitting outside with men.

And on the bus. Well, first, there is a bus!!!! Then, high school kids get on the bus. Young women, without abayas or headscarves, talking to boys. They’re talking about Coke vs Diet Coke, Democrats and Republicans, and which stop they get off at.

And on the bus are women who are coming home from work. Jobs of all kinds, I imagine.

There are churches and synagogues and mosques. Cinemas. Plays. Outdoor musical performances and music playing in Chipotle. And women eating dinner with their kids, right next to a man or two.

And there are homeless people. And single moms talking about being on welfare. And guys talking about getting out of jail again.

This is the land of the free. Free to succeed or fail, but definitely in comparison to Saudi Arabia, free.

Going for a Swim

Here in Riyadh, many compounds (expat residence communities) have swimming pools. But if you don’t have a friend on a compound, can you go swimming?

Yes, you can!, my teacher friends told me.

Here’s the scoop:

  • You have to have a driver take you to the Diplomatic Quarter. You must also arrange for them to come pick you up. Arrange with a driver, not a taxi, as empty taxis are not allowed into the DQ. (Cost roundtrip about 60-100 SAR ~$15-$20)
  • Bring your passport.
  • Wear a one-piece swimsuit, plus bike shorts underneath and a swimming cap.
  • Pay 50 SAR ($13)
  • Choose hours when women are allowed

Easy, right!!Well, it’s an option. Hmm…

Ah, I’m thinking fondly of the women’s sauna with swimming lane, 10 minute walk away, no clothing required and $4 entrance fee on Jeju Island.

Extra Money: Saudi Budget Surplus

While the US posted its third consecutive highest annual deficit ($1.3 trillion), the Saudi government is faced with the problem of what to do with its latest surplus.

That’s right. The Saudi government has an extra $81.6 billion at year end. 

BBC News - Saudi Arabia posts huge budget surplus (December 2011)

Big Family Vehicles

This is a place where big cars are popular:

- the average family size is six (down from higher numbers in recent years, and still lower in Riyadh than in smaller towns where the average size is 7-8)

- no public transportation

- gasoline sells for less than $1/gallon

- male drivers

The other day I saw a dad helping his kids get in the car, taking them to school perhaps. I thought, wow, the dads here really do take care of their kids a lot. Of course, the other side of that, is that women can’t drive, so there are no Soccer Mom’s here.

Class-y Dressers

Class-y Dressers

Sure, it’s the case that in any place, that the clothes one wears hints at your station in society.

And it’s definitely the case here.

For example, you often see men dressed in traditional Saudi garb: white robe (thawb), red and white checked headscarf (shumawg), and round rope-like coil (iqal). (More info on Saudi traditional costumes here.) These men, one assumes, are Saudi citizens. Their wives are wearing full nikabs, they are driving their wives and kids about, or walking with them in the mall. They drive fancy cars like Lexus, or big American cars, like Chevy Tahoe and GMC Yukon. (Big families and cheap oil here, thus, big cars.)

On the other hand, when you see someone wearing more casual Western wear, they tend to be working in the service industry or expats working in positions such as IT or insurance. They’re usually not Saudi.

So, it’s wrong to assume too much by the clothing, but moreso than in other countries, the clothes do say much about the man.

Mulan: If I Were a Boy …Saudi style

Mulan …If I Were a Boy…Joan of Arc

Just before I left Korea, I was teaching the story book of Mulan to my grade 5-6 students. 

The story of Mulan, I learned, is based on an old Chinese legend about a girl who must take her father’s place. She masquerades as a man, and becomes a famous warrior.

Other cultures have similar stories, like Joan of Arc.

So, I have this dream of masquerading as a guy, just once. (Okay, just once a week.)

Could I pull it off? Tuck my hair into something? I could wear the traditional Saudi man’s headscarf and long white tunic. A slight bulge at chest height could keep going with a bit of padding, to give that chubby Saudi belly style that many men sport.

But then, if I was wearing that, how could I fulfill my dream? I don’t want to drive. I don’t want to eat in the men’s section of a restaurant. I don’t want to play pool or ping-pong and drink coffee at the nearby hangout. And I definitely don’t want to go into the spa at the Hotel Mercure.

If I could figure out a way to do it, I’d masquerade as a man, 

so I could ride a bike!

You’re Welcome: Marhaban

You’re Welcome …Marhaban!

Living as a woman in Saudi Arabia means you’re constantly guessing as to whether you’re allowed or not.

A few weeks ago, for example, I walked first to the tailor shop across the street. If you can see in, and you can see men, oftentimes women aren’t allowed. But in some stores you are.

So, I walked hesitantly to the storefront. I motioned and said, is it okay? Can I come in?

The two men working there nodded yes. They were sitting at separate tables. One was working on a blue sequined ball gown. The other was working on an elegant black dress.

So, I walked up to the door, opened it and I stepped inside. Suddenly, they both were shaking their heads and waving their hands, No!

But, but…I thought they’d just said it was okay.

“Window,” one of the men pointed. Then I realized that I’d just walked into their private workshop and they serve customers (at least women and maybe all) outside at the window. Oopsiedaisy!

Okay, so I’m being too cautious. Lighten up, I thought to myself.

Next stop is the Hotel Mercure, pictured above, that for some reason is designed to look like The Love Boat, or at least a cruiseship. 

We’d been walking by the hotel daily for a few weeks now, and noticed that the sign said “Spa and Health Club”.

I’d tried going in once, but when I walked up to the door and as I was about to go in, I noticed dozens of guys. Only. Guys in traditional Saudi dress and no women. Ah, heck, I thought. I didn’t have the energy that time to test it out.

But today, I wanted to try again.

So, I walked up to the door and saw again the same thing. Lots and lots, maybe 30, Saudi men in traditional dress (red and white checked headpiece scarf and white long robe). There was no one at the door so I went in. The staff at the lobby were wearing hotel-y types of suits and I looked at them and did the, “Am I ok here?” symbol. “Yes, Yes,” they motioned. “Marhaban.” (Welcome!) When they saw me, they got the best English speaker to come help me.

Right about then, I felt really silly for thinking that women weren’t welcome in the hotel. As I was getting ready to ask my question, a women (with nikab) appeared so I was relieved that at least some women were in the hotel.

“Do you have a health club? …or a spa? here?” I asked the staffperson.

“Yes. Yes, we do,” he said. I smiled, beamed!

“But it’s only for the guys you know.”

My friend had nearly the same conversation with him that day at a different time, when he mentioned, “Of course, you’re welcome in the coffee shop and restaurant!”

Crazy Women Drivers

Crazy Women Drivers

The first thing you’re greeted with when you walk in Le Mall is the sound of electric cars tooling around. Driven by toddlers up to about age five, the vehicles are snappy, but not actually so fast that they’re dangerous. You just gotta watch your step a bit, and keep eyes and ears tuned for these little low-speed-demons.

Not just boys on these motorcycles and cars though. Plenty of girls are driving, with moms and dads herding them about, smiling.

I wonder if these same little girls grow up and fondly reminisce, I remember when I drove a car once. I was three years old and it was a silver beauty…

There’s an ice skating rink in the mall for kids too! But again, how would a woman ice skate with an abaya? Now, that could be dangerous

Really …you can’t celebrate Xmas or New Year’s!

Teacher friends planned a Christmas part in their apartment, which has only foreigner residents. They posted a sign in the lobby saying “Christmas Party” with the time, date and apartment number. 

Somehow the Mutawa (Religious Police) got word of it and objected. They came to the apartment building, removed the sign, and came to the apartment listed. They told the teachers they could not have the party, and that the Mutawa would be back at the date and time mentioned to ensure it.

Sound far-fetched? No, and it’s not only Christmas that is un-Islamic, and thus banned. According to an article on the bikyamasr website, a foreigner was just arrested on the street for celebrating the New Year’s Eve with balloons. 

Saudi Arabia arrests foreigner for celebrating New Year’s with balloons

So, when I was in line in the grocery store the day after Christmas, and a nice guy in full Saudi dress first helped me unload my cart, then wished me, “Merry Christmas!” …I said, “Thank you” but wondered

…is this a trick question?

A Real Picnic

Grass? What? Really? Where?

…was my friend’s incredulous response when we told them we’d gone on a picnic, and sat on the grass eating lunch.

King Abdulaziz Historical Center is an oasis in the city.

It made for a perfect ‘Sunday afternoon’ (okay, it was actually Friday, but the second day of our weekend). We ate hummus, babaganoush, tabouleh, Arabic-style tuna salad (peppers and lemons), and spiced fava beans.  We didn’t have a proper picnic mat or blanket. One friend said, “My abaya is my picnic mat.” aha, multipurpose these things!

The weather has been amazingly perfect, with clear sunny skies and light breezes. Just warm enough to still be comfortable wearing an abaya (yeah, we had to keep them on in the park), but not too cool to need a jacket (which you’re really supposed to wear under your abaya.)

It was a treat to see kids riding bicycles, kicking soccer balls and just playing. A girl in an abaya rollerskating was struggling, but honestly even without an abaya, she would be no roller derby contender.

Twice I tried to use the public restroom in the park. But women here can be pretty aggressive when it comes to queueing, or rather not. If you don’t have your game on, there are times when you get left in the dust. I just didn’t have it in me to fight to keep my place in line for some extremely marginal toilets. I decided to wait until we got into the museum. Good call!

map

Non-Alcoholic World

Non-Alcoholic World

It’s a bit of a shock to walk into the classroom and see what looks like an opened can or bottle of beer on a student’s desk. Of course, it’s non-alcoholic. No alcohol is allowed to be sold, bought or consumed in the Kingdom.

But actually, it’s a bit of a shock to see that what the US has brought to the Kingdom is Budweiser! I’m not a beer or a non-beer connoisseur, but I’m just saying…

What are your plans for the future? …oh no, not you

We are preparing our girls for the final exams. One part is a speaking test. We, the teachers, act as interviewers and assessors for this test. This week we’ve been practicing with the girls.

In Part 1 of the speaking exam, we ask each girl a set of 5-6 general questions. For example: Where are you from? What is your city famous for? What kind of house do you live in? Does it have a garage? (always yes) Does it have a swimming pool? (usually yes)

We can choose one of five sets to ask. But one set says (For Male Students Only).

On the Male Students Only list, questions include: What are your plans for the future? What do you want to do after university? Where do you want to work?

Girls of Riyadh

Girls of Riyadh

 In Jarir Bookstore, two weeks ago I first noticed the bright red cover of the Girls of Riyadh. It was on an end-of-aisle display of the Top 10 Bestsellers. I picked it up, and didn’t want to put it down until I finished it a few days later.

Amazing that it was there! It was banned when it was first published in Arabic, in about 2005.

The author, a 25-year-old Saudi woman Rajaa Alsanea living now in the US, wrote the book as it developed through a series of emails. Every Friday she sent another chapter anonymously to her yahoogroup email list.

There is some controversy about whether the book is disclosing things that are too obvious, while others say it’s too outrageous and unbelievable. But for me, it seems to reflect many aspects of the lives of our students. Our girls are from the more well-to-do slice of Saudi society, and what they talk about seems to be in sync with the author’s tales.

The difference is that in class we are restricted from discussing or debating many of the details of their lives. For example, any mention of the possibility of a boyfriend is strictly prohibited. This book offers answers to basic questions I had like, if girls aren’t allowed to ever be in groups or alone with guys other than their relatives, how the heck do they get married? Are they all arranged marriages?

The Girls of Riyadh paints the pictures of how girls and guys meet: at the mall, in the workplace or higher education for medical students (for example), or through friends of friends. And yes, through the arranged meetings of their families.

There are tons of cultural references about Saudi society, which confirms what I’ve been experiencing from the very outermost layers. It’s an interesting, easy read that I’d recommend to anyone.

It’s also inspirational that a 25-year-old had the self discipline and courage to write, what unbeknownst to her, would become a hit worldwide.

(Source: http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Riyadh-Rajaa-Alsanea/dp/014311347X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325229258&sr=1-1)

Perfect Weather in Riyadh – November and December

Perfect Weather in Riyadh

Yeah, well, I might have to wear and abaya and cover my head every time I leave my apartment, but besides for that, dressing for the weather is a piece of cake! No gloves, jacket, or boots needed now, when at home, it’s full on winter.

Check out the 10-day forecast for Riyadh from The Weather chanel: High around 70F, low around 50F. Sunny, light winds up to 5mph

(Source: http://www.weather.com/weather/tenday/Riyadh+Saudi+Arabia+SAXX0017)

What are you doing for Christmas?

Working! In Saudi, Christmas is a Sunday and it’s a Christian holiday.

Our working week starts Saturday at 7 am. We work daily Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed from 7 am until 315 pm. So, our ‘weekend’ is Thursday and Friday.

And since there is one religion and that is Islam, no Christmas holiday is observed.

Ah, this reminds me of my Korean friends that missed Chuseok when they visited the US. And how must it feel to be in the US, and be Muslim, Chinese or a host of others who might feel disrespected because in our way, we dismiss their holidays and celebrate ours.

Saudi holidays

Greek Salad …Easy and Delicious

Greek Salad: Easy and Delicious
We are so lucky! The ingredients for Greek salads are readily available, fresh and inexpensive. We can pick up fresh heads of romaine lettuce (kept cool in the frig) at our local produce shop, along with roma tomatoes and fresh lemons for the dressing. Kalamata olives and feta cheese are plentiful and scrumptious from our grocery store’s deli. We have the for lunch on a weekend, or pack it for school. Add a pita or two and heaven awaits. (A packet of about 8 fresh today pita is 1 Riyal …30 cents!)