Tag Archives: Al-Anon

Poem: Nothing Worked …a Haiku

I tried everything

Became a crazy, devil

Fin’lly, nothing worked

==

2013-05-02 15.22.00 Heavenly Sky

About the poem:

“Lighten up!”, is sometimes hard for me to do. I want to force and hurry things along into my plan.  When I hear myself say, “I’ve tried everything!” in exasperation, I eventually realize..Wait!!!  It’s time to try “nothing”. That is, to stop pushing and let go, let it go. (If I have trouble doing this, I get help from my mentor. Usually, I wish I’d asked for help sooner. )

By releasing my stranglehold on a problem, solutions bubble up delivering something better than I’d imagined. In the 12-step programs, like Al-Anon, a slogan sums this up as: “Let go and let God.”

About the Author

Joan has been a crazy devil to her friends and family at times. But by forgiving her and being patient and kind, they are teaching her some important skills. She writes books and blogs about tips like this, and about inner peace, love, life, relationships, nutrition, and nature.

Ch30 Appendix: Resources and Inspirations

Here is a sample of favorite inspirational teachers that took me by the hand and guided me. On your journey, reach out to these and other authors, support groups and classes that fit your life! Find a teacher who was learned to overcome the problems that you want to solve.

These writers have helped me learn what my inner circle of family and friends mostly did not know, or else, we all began learning together. These authors have written several books each. I list one or two of the more well-known titles, but peruse and you may find something that more directly suits you.

Louise Hay

You Can Heal Your Life

101 Power Thoughts

Lack of self love is the root of all of our problems, Louise explains. Her sweet voice comes through in her stories, affirmations and insights, like that wise, loving older sister we could all benefit from. For a simple overall affirmation series, listen to 101 Power Thoughts morning and night.

Byron Katie

Loving What Is

I Need Your Love, Is it True?

Ms. Katie provides four simple questions to help us unravel the rationale we use to make ourselves miserable! Listen to the audio to hear real-life examples of how this process works. This is a simple system you can apply daily to help you laugh at your serious side, and enjoy life more.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Moment and Your Life

Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series

Jon Kabat-Zinn has a way of writing and talking to beginners in a manner that is inviting and convincing. Try a slim book or an audio CD. If ‘meditation’ sounds too daunting, try a book on ‘mindfulness’ for starters.

Melody Beattie

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself

This is one of those books I listened to in my car. I laughed so hard as Beattie described standard manipulation and guilt tactics that we often use, but are ineffective and often damaging. The humorous part is that I never realized I was doing it, that I could stop, or how much fun life would be without it. I came across this as part of my Al-Anon work, but would recommend it to anyone. As kids, we are all dependent. Maturing and becoming interdependent adults, rather than codependent, usually requires some conscientious retraining. This and other books by Beattie are spot on!

Cyndi Dale

The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy

Did you know that cultures around the world have remarkably similar descriptions of the human body’s subtle system? Call it chakras or meridians. Use Kabbalah or native American terminology, but cultures agree that there is more to our health than meets the eye. This illustrated book is stunning in its breadth, insights and beauty.

Dr. Daniel Amen

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

Dr. Amen’s many books give you a glimpse into how our brain works. His approach is to consider faulty brains, in the same non-judgmental way we’d consider someone with tennis elbow, or a persistent slight limp. Brain issues are often fixable and can be the root cause of many problems in your life.

Eckhart Tolle

The Power of Now

A New Earth

After sitting on park benches for a couple years, Mr. Tolle finally understood something that he’d been missing in his earlier life. Eckhart Tolle shares his insights about how the only time we ever have is right now. If you’re not a big fan of self-help books, try Guardians of Being, the book that combines pet illustrations from Mutts comic strip artist with Tolle quotes. Learning the power of now from dogs and cats might be our most direct route!

 

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life

How to See Yourself as You Really Are

The Dalai Lama, winner of the 1989 Nobel Peace Prize, has written dozens of books that relate Buddhist teachings to the social ills of modern Western society. The Dalai Lama retains that joyful, little-kid way of relating to people that is irresistible to me.

 

 

Pema Chodron

How to Meditate with Pema Chodron: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind

Did you know that when people first try to meditate, instead of quieting their thoughts, it’s common for people to curse themselves and get angry about it! Well, this is obviously the wrong reaction. Pema Chodron talks about this and instructs beginners to go for gentle amusement rather than any level of achievement. Her voice reflects this. Try an audio CD and hang out with Pema, to experience it yourself.

 

Thich Nhat Hanh

Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life

Thich Nhat Hanh has written 100 books, and 40 available in English, so you have many to choose from! He has great ways to show how to experience deep meditative ways in everyday experiences: walking, in the garden or at mealtime. In addition, he writes directly to children, and about social work andenvironmentalism as different aspects of mindful living. Savor, with Dr. Lilian Cheung, makes the  link between eating and mindfulness.

Gay Hendricks, Kathlyn Hendricks

Attracting Authentic Love

This pocket-sized book and audio present an easy way to get yourself ready for a mature, healthy relationship. It gives you a solid foundation for authentic love through: listening to your body, clearing conditioning from your past, and considering what factors a healthy partner needs.

David Richo

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Richo presents an approach that feels calm and encouraging. As a Buddhist, marriage counselor, he gives examples of how couples tend to recreate the circumstances of our childhood, and how to accept that and work through that and evolve with your partner. His five A’s system recommends that loving relationships need: Attention, Appreciation, Affection, Allowing, and Acceptance. Would your partner be up for working through this (or a similar book) with you?

Shakti Gawain

Creative Visualization

Living in the Light

It was from reading Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization that I solved a recurring afternoon problem I had with my toddler, years ago. This was my first taste of learning a skill from an author, that my friends and family didn’t know. Shakti Gawain has continued to write helpful, insightful books on healing, energy, grief and living large spiritually.

And you?

When will you

begin that

long journey

into

yourself?

- Rumi

 

Most  of these are included in my Amazon.com Listmania List:

http://www.amazon.com/Books-that-help-you-Tune-In-to-Inner-Peace-Transform-and-Enjoy-Life/lm/R2OK9DCKXN7O47/ref=cm_srch_res_rpli_alt_1

Ch21 Practice, Practice, Practice

Spending time in nature balances us

Now, I hope you can see that Inner Peace is always within grasp. And for each of us, maintaining it is our individual responsibility.

 

So, the obvious questions, is How? The answer is that there are as many paths as there are people.

 

Many, Many Paths to Peace

I was brainwashed, oops, I mean raised, Catholic. I liked a lot of the teachings, but I grew up worrying that our neighbor and my best friend was going to burn in hell because she was the only non-Catholic friend I had. No, silly, I was reassured. She’ll probably just be in purgatory for awhile.

 

And all the people from other countries and other religions, will they be there too? I never saw anything in the bible that supported this kind of thinking. Jesus was not a card-carrying anything. He preached Love and Forgiveness, but never Membership.

 

There is no name brand on love.

 

When we do make some spiritual progress, it’s our nature to go a bit hog-nutty about it. We think everyone around us should do it too, and that our way is the best, or maybe only way. Thus, the ideologue is born.

 

But, there is no one way to peace. There are many, many ways. For me, when someone starts trying to sell me a ticket to the “My Way or the Highway” approach to spirituality, my Inner Peace starts rattling and clanking, and urges me to speed off the other way.

 

Stopping to Pray

When I went home after being in Saudi Arabia for two months, the thing I missed most was the sound of Prayer Calls. Five times a day, Muslims bow down and pray. The air is filled with the sound, as different mosques start the calls at slightly different times, making a familiar but unique symphony every day, five times a day.

 

I think this is a funny commentary on just how short our attention span really is! We humans start the day with the best intentions, but within a couple hours get completely distracted. Thus, the need for the call to stop what you are doing and pray.

 

I’m not much of an organized-religion-kinda gal, and I may not call it praying, but, I do pause often to notice I’m alive!

 

What is a Practice?

Whether you operate within an organized religion or without one, you’ll want to develop your own Practice. This is a set of guidelines, rituals and community you put in place to support you.

 

When I first started a weight loss program, I did some informal research. In talking with my slender, fit friends, I found out that they each had a system. “I don’t eat after 8 pm.” “I always eat fruit before going to a party.” “I weigh myself every Saturday to make sure I haven’t overeaten that week.”

 

What? And all this time, I thought they ate crap all day and were just lucky! That may have been the case when they were 14, but 50-year olds don’t continue that trend and stay fit and slim.

 

In that same way, you can manage your Inner Peace easily, by developing a set of rules to live by.

 

This is your Spiritual Practice. You can tailor design your peace management system to fit you, and adjust it over time. It’s likely to encompass some or all of these characteristics:

  • discipline
  • morning ritual
  • evening ritual
  • reflection
  • introspection
  • service
  • inspiration
  • quiet time
  • community
  • strong sense of self
  • belief in higher power
  • support from a mentor / teacher
  • exercise
  • nutrition
  • creative expression
  • music
  • movement
  • nature

 

 

Designing Your Practice

Having someone prescribe exactly what you must do to achieve Inner Peace is like asking someone to order for you at a restaurant. It’s better for you to decide. Do you like it mild or spicy? Vegan or BBQ? A little hungry or ravenous? Kid’s meal, salad bar or the special of the day?

 

So, in designing your own practice, be creative. Choose what suits you. Learn from others. Ask those that you admire about theirs.

 

A daily practice allows you to enjoy your life and become that powerful presence you were meant to be.

 

Exercises

  • Review the list above. Note which of these you are already doing. How do they help you maintain serenity?
  • Which of these are missing in your life? What would you like to add?
  • In the next week, come up with a plan for your own practice.
  • Consider your Practice to be more important than your To Do list. Check your progress at the end of the day. How are you feeling?
  • Check it monthly. Challenge yourself to continuously make it better.

 

A daily practice is a system for managing your Inner Peace, and making all of life a joy!