Tag Archives: women’s rights

Home of the Free

Walking around on the streets of Denver, I’m in awe of our freedoms.

I just got back from two months in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Wow, look at that lady walking alone, head uncovered, no abaya, walking a dog!!! A big dog!

And over there, people sitting outside. Women sitting outside with men.

And on the bus. Well, first, there is a bus!!!! Then, high school kids get on the bus. Young women, without abayas or headscarves, talking to boys. They’re talking about Coke vs Diet Coke, Democrats and Republicans, and which stop they get off at.

And on the bus are women who are coming home from work. Jobs of all kinds, I imagine.

There are churches and synagogues and mosques. Cinemas. Plays. Outdoor musical performances and music playing in Chipotle. And women eating dinner with their kids, right next to a man or two.

And there are homeless people. And single moms talking about being on welfare. And guys talking about getting out of jail again.

This is the land of the free. Free to succeed or fail, but definitely in comparison to Saudi Arabia, free.

Mulan: If I Were a Boy …Saudi style

Mulan …If I Were a Boy…Joan of Arc

Just before I left Korea, I was teaching the story book of Mulan to my grade 5-6 students. 

The story of Mulan, I learned, is based on an old Chinese legend about a girl who must take her father’s place. She masquerades as a man, and becomes a famous warrior.

Other cultures have similar stories, like Joan of Arc.

So, I have this dream of masquerading as a guy, just once. (Okay, just once a week.)

Could I pull it off? Tuck my hair into something? I could wear the traditional Saudi man’s headscarf and long white tunic. A slight bulge at chest height could keep going with a bit of padding, to give that chubby Saudi belly style that many men sport.

But then, if I was wearing that, how could I fulfill my dream? I don’t want to drive. I don’t want to eat in the men’s section of a restaurant. I don’t want to play pool or ping-pong and drink coffee at the nearby hangout. And I definitely don’t want to go into the spa at the Hotel Mercure.

If I could figure out a way to do it, I’d masquerade as a man, 

so I could ride a bike!

You’re Welcome: Marhaban

You’re Welcome …Marhaban!

Living as a woman in Saudi Arabia means you’re constantly guessing as to whether you’re allowed or not.

A few weeks ago, for example, I walked first to the tailor shop across the street. If you can see in, and you can see men, oftentimes women aren’t allowed. But in some stores you are.

So, I walked hesitantly to the storefront. I motioned and said, is it okay? Can I come in?

The two men working there nodded yes. They were sitting at separate tables. One was working on a blue sequined ball gown. The other was working on an elegant black dress.

So, I walked up to the door, opened it and I stepped inside. Suddenly, they both were shaking their heads and waving their hands, No!

But, but…I thought they’d just said it was okay.

“Window,” one of the men pointed. Then I realized that I’d just walked into their private workshop and they serve customers (at least women and maybe all) outside at the window. Oopsiedaisy!

Okay, so I’m being too cautious. Lighten up, I thought to myself.

Next stop is the Hotel Mercure, pictured above, that for some reason is designed to look like The Love Boat, or at least a cruiseship. 

We’d been walking by the hotel daily for a few weeks now, and noticed that the sign said “Spa and Health Club”.

I’d tried going in once, but when I walked up to the door and as I was about to go in, I noticed dozens of guys. Only. Guys in traditional Saudi dress and no women. Ah, heck, I thought. I didn’t have the energy that time to test it out.

But today, I wanted to try again.

So, I walked up to the door and saw again the same thing. Lots and lots, maybe 30, Saudi men in traditional dress (red and white checked headpiece scarf and white long robe). There was no one at the door so I went in. The staff at the lobby were wearing hotel-y types of suits and I looked at them and did the, “Am I ok here?” symbol. “Yes, Yes,” they motioned. “Marhaban.” (Welcome!) When they saw me, they got the best English speaker to come help me.

Right about then, I felt really silly for thinking that women weren’t welcome in the hotel. As I was getting ready to ask my question, a women (with nikab) appeared so I was relieved that at least some women were in the hotel.

“Do you have a health club? …or a spa? here?” I asked the staffperson.

“Yes. Yes, we do,” he said. I smiled, beamed!

“But it’s only for the guys you know.”

My friend had nearly the same conversation with him that day at a different time, when he mentioned, “Of course, you’re welcome in the coffee shop and restaurant!”

Crazy Women Drivers

Crazy Women Drivers

The first thing you’re greeted with when you walk in Le Mall is the sound of electric cars tooling around. Driven by toddlers up to about age five, the vehicles are snappy, but not actually so fast that they’re dangerous. You just gotta watch your step a bit, and keep eyes and ears tuned for these little low-speed-demons.

Not just boys on these motorcycles and cars though. Plenty of girls are driving, with moms and dads herding them about, smiling.

I wonder if these same little girls grow up and fondly reminisce, I remember when I drove a car once. I was three years old and it was a silver beauty…

There’s an ice skating rink in the mall for kids too! But again, how would a woman ice skate with an abaya? Now, that could be dangerous

What are your plans for the future? …oh no, not you

We are preparing our girls for the final exams. One part is a speaking test. We, the teachers, act as interviewers and assessors for this test. This week we’ve been practicing with the girls.

In Part 1 of the speaking exam, we ask each girl a set of 5-6 general questions. For example: Where are you from? What is your city famous for? What kind of house do you live in? Does it have a garage? (always yes) Does it have a swimming pool? (usually yes)

We can choose one of five sets to ask. But one set says (For Male Students Only).

On the Male Students Only list, questions include: What are your plans for the future? What do you want to do after university? Where do you want to work?

Starbucks Gender Segregation

Starbucks Gender Segregation

I walked into the Starbucks in the fancy Kingdom Tower mall. At the counter, the man there asked me, “Please, can you use the families section?” Where? “Around and to the left.”

I’d walked into the men’s only section. It looked exactly like most Starbucks I’ve seen elsewhere in the world: US, Canada, Korea. But, I should be learning by now.

The family section is actually another Starbucks, so the two are next to each other. Family Sections in general have frosted glass on the lower section so as to prevent men from looking at women. This Starbucks had ample space for women to not only purchase, but also to sit and enjoy their drinks.

In the photo, you can see the men’s Starbucks on the left, and the families Starbucks on the right (where the woman and boy are coming out)

McBarely Made It

McBarely Made It

Today my roommate and I were out running errands and starting to get a bit hungry. On our first days, we turned up our noses at McDonald’s but by now, we know that it’s an oasis for us women, in a desert of men-only eating establishments. Certainly there are others, but it’s hard for us to find them when we’re out and about in unfamiliar areas.

We knew that the noon-ish prayer time was at 11:43, so we kept close track of the time, as everyone here learns to do. We got to McDonald’s family seating entrance at 11:32 or so, and the staffperson told us they were closing for prayer time. 

“Oh, no! Prayer time is at 11:43,” we said. “Ten more minutes!”

“What? You know the prayer times?,” he laughed and said he could let us in but he’d have to lock us in for prayer time.

“Yes, we know. Yes, please,” we said.

We ordered a McSalad and McArabia Sandwich set and found a comfy private booth to relax in. The same McD guy who’d let us in brought our food to us, as well as an English newspaper, Arab News (maybe?). Where are you from? etc, we chatted for a couple minutes and he left. 

Then, we enjoyed our meal and suddenly I heard something unfamiliar. We stopped talking and could then hear clearly 80’s rock music being played in the McD kitchen. While this wouldn’t be remarkable elsewhere, in Saudi Arabia, music that is non-religious is banned in public, and frowned on at home.

Since most workers are non-Saudis, the workers were enjoying a few minutes of music. So, we spent the noon prayer time relaxing at McD’s, with the faint sounds of rock music in the background.

After about 40 minutes inside, our friend came and told us he’d unlocked the door and we could leave. Fat and happy, we did. 

I’m Lovin’ It

I’m Lovin’ It

The other day my roommate and I were in a grocery store.
“Should I run next door and get us something at Dunkin’ Donuts before prayer time?,” I asked her. Yes!

I walked in to the donut shop and saw only men sitting. I looked across at the clerk, saying and motioning, is it okay for me here?
Yes, he replied in gesture and English. You’re welcome, he seemed to say.

I ordered two coffees and two donuts. I picked up the coffees, one in each hand, and grabbed the bag with my spare fingers. That’s when we both thought of the next issue. No, he said, and gestured, you can’t sit here.

Women can not sit in restaurants unless there is a Families Section.

So, on another day, I went to the McDonald’s across the street.

I’m not a big McDonald’s fan, but it’s one of the few places outside of a mall that we can sit and eat. There is a separate entrance for men and another for families. I walked into the families section entrance and ordered. As I waited for my food, I began to feel uncomfortable. Two men were also waiting in the ordering area. Am I supposed to be standing here alone with men? Am I offended? Are they? Their wives had gone upstairs, and later I saw, the wives watching their kids in the playland.

After I got my food, I headed upstairs. It was a bit tricky to walk up steep stairs carrying a tray, hoping not to trip on your abaya. I had my pick of many booths. I found one, set my food down, pulled the curtain across, and removed my headscarf. I could have taken off my abaya too, but didn’t. I relaxed and enjoyed my McArabia (chicken and pita) sandwich.

Later I stopped in the bathroom. All bathrooms here have sprayers next to the toilet. But this one had a toilet paper, with fully stocked toilet paper roll within reach.

I never expected to say this about McD in Riyadh.

I’m lovin’ it.