Poem: Slow to Argue

Flaming emails
Snappy hot nit-picky comments
Smoking accusations about right and wrong
Impassioned, burning tirades
Storming in
Stomping out

None of these
Can hold a candle
To sitting
(Not smoldering)
Then speaking calmly
A little
Letting the fire die down
Being slow to argue



About the poem:
Arguing is such a fun sport, but like many sports it’s often just a lot of running around. I’ve sent some flaming emails in my day, and often been surprised at the damage they have created. These days, on a good day, I am slower to argue.

I love the Rumi quote,

Beyond our ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing,there is a field. I’ll meet you there

Being raised Catholic, I gotta say, I never heard anything like this. And at first, I didn’t get it. But now, I agree. Focusing only on my idea of right and wrong is often too narrow. There is something deeper, and that’s where I want to be.





Poem: Not as she’d hoped

The same argument every day

Who is the better person

Who is more loving

Cloaked in words like

Dishes and laundry, and bills

And when will you be home


She was sure she was right

Sure that he’d soon agree

But he didn’t

She ran out of words

All that was left was

One tomato sitting on the counter

Not ripe yet, which was better than she’d hoped

A bit large though, which was worse than she’d hoped

She threw it at him anyway

With a scream added in for dramatic effect

Today’s argument was over

But not as she’d hoped


About the poem:

It’s hard to prove that we’re all that, when all we got is anger. This is true for spanking or yelling at our kids, spouses, students, anyone. Anger is not being strong. It is a lack of skills or creativity, or both. Let’s develop those skills and use our creativity to come up with a better world.